Letter
by RunXRun
Summary: Thor reads a letter from Loki. *Spoilers* -Revised 09/02/13-
1. Chapter 1

Thor rushed into Loki's chambers and quickly shut the door behind him. He couldn't risk his people seeing him cry over his brother, the God that had ruined many lives with his "little" stunt ... his last stunt.

Thor sat on Loki's bed and frowned, wiping the tears away as fast as they came. What was he suppose to do now? Loki was more than a brother to him. He was support, reassurance and guidance and now all of that was gone ... for good.  
_"No!"  
_Thor shook his head to steer his mind out of that place. Loki was not dead. He had fallen, yes, but he was not dead.

Looking around, Thor noticed an envelope with his name scrawled on it in Loki's hand writing. Snatching it from on top of the pillow, Thor looked down at it and frowned, confused by the sudden find. When had Loki written this? Opening it, Thor began to read.

* * *

Dear brother,

If you are reading this, then it means that worst came to worst and something bad has happened to me and I didn't have a change to go back and burn this letter. I knew you'd come in here, as you always do when something ails you. I assume you will have many questions and this letter will hopefully give you your answers.

My whole life I have felt like an outsider, like I had to fight for my place beside you and father, then I had to fight you just so father would notice me ... but everything I did paled in comparison to the things you did. I was always fighting, Thor, always. I used to wake up and tell myself that father loved me just as much as he loved you, but over the years that turned into a constant reminder that he doesn't, and I don't think he ever will.

You are the golden son, are you not? You are Thor, God of Thunder ... the God that can do no wrong. While I am Loki, God of Mischief, the God that knows nothing but wrong. Do you remember when we were children and your friend broke the vase and blamed me? No one questioned him about it, and when I had tried to tell father that I didn't do it, and that the boy was a liar, father just frowned and shook his head at me. It wasn't until you stepped in and told father the truth that he apologized. Do you remember that, Thor? I'm sure you don't.

All I ever wanted to be was your equal, to have father look at me the same way he looks at you. I wanted you to look at me as an equal also, but that never really did happen, did it?

I wish I could say that I am sorry, but I am not. I did what I thought I had to do to ensure the safety of Asgard, to win father's love and your faith. This letter will either confuse you more or answer your questions of "Why?" but whatever the case may be, I am no longer around to explain it to you and hopefully I am no longer around to feel the pain of never being good enough.

Loki.

* * *

Thor clutched the letter in his hands, tears pouring out of his eyes. Shaking his head, Thor put the letter to his lips and whispered to the letter, to Loki.  
**"You were always good enough in my eyes."**


	2. Chapter 2

It had been awhile since Loki's fall and Thor was still mourning. Sure, he'd pretend that everything was fine and that he wasn't dying on the inside, and he'd even go on quests an spar with his friends, but his heart was never truly in it. No one seemed to understand how well Loki and Thor fit, they were like one complicated puzzle and now one of the pieces was lost forever.

The only one who took any notice was Frigga. She noticed that when Thor was sparring he would be slower to dodge. Frigga would have said that it didn't feel like Thor was trying anymore, or that he didn't see a reason to try anymore. Frigga remembered when Thor told Loki that whenever he felt weak he'd glance over at Loki and he'd feel this intense need to do better; to show that no matter what came their way, Thor would always be there to protect him. She frowned as she watched the training continue. They needed each other just like fire needs oxygen, and Frigga was worried what the outcome would be if Thor kept on this way.

Thor smiled and waved to his friends, it was time that he got back to his chambers. Although it wasn't his chambers he frequented, it was Loki's. He would always go into Loki's room and write to him. Ever since he had read Loki's letter, Thor had started to write to him and put the letter on his bed. The old letters would be put on Loki's desk. Thor had hoped that one day Loki would sneak in and see the letters, but no such luck. The letter was never moved or read.  
Thor began to write.

* * *

Dearest Loki,

I wish I could tell you how long you have been away, but I stopped counting the days. Today it has his especially hard, I think it's because the Warrior's Three and I were in the forest and we noticed a snake. It was a beautiful green with gold patterns. Sif had made a comment that it was you, brother. You could have laughed had you seen the look Sif made after that comment, I, however, couldn't laugh. It was the first time anyone has mentioned your name in my presence since that day. Sif is still apologizing for it even though I have forgiven her. But she was correct. That snake did remind me of you.

I'll see animals that resemble you and think that you have returned. That you're just in animal form watching me, making sure that I am alright. If that is the case, please show yourself. Father and mother are no longer mad at you, they just want you back home and safe.

I heard one of the guards whispering about me early today, telling another guard that I was holding on to a false hope that you are still alive. But I feel it. I feel your magic, Loki, I know you're alive. No one seems to believe that though and have all given up the search. I just wish you'd come home. Things are so-

* * *

Thor stopped writing as he heard his mother and father outside the door.  
"Frigga, we cannot tell him and that's final!"_**  
"You are unbelievable! Odin, our son is hurting! We must tell him ... he's getting worse."  
**_"You just think he's getting worse. What do you think he will? Do you think he would take kindly to knowing that Loki has taken control of that Selvig man and has harmed others?"

Thor had heard his mother respond, but he couldn't tell what she had said. Loki was alive? In Midgard? Thor stood up abruptly, knocking the chair over and searched frantically for one particular letter. Grabbing it, he opened Loki's chamber doors and stared at his mother and father.

**"I must go see him."**

"Thor, please, just li-"  
**"I must see him, father. I am doing this with or without your permission."  
**Odin sighed. How did he raise Thor and Loki? Nodding, Odin looked at his son.  
"I wish you wouldn't go, and that you would let someone else fetch him, but come. I will show you where he is."

Frigga smiled, she had suspected Thor of being in Loki's chambers and had lured Odin here to have this talk.  
_**"Bring him back, son."**_

* * *

It had all happened so quickly that most of it was a blur. Thor could only piece together ripping open some type of flying metal thing and seeing his brother. Thor would have stayed right there, just staring at Loki, if it wasn't for the other's in the flying machine Grabbing Loki and jumping out, Thor and Loki both landed safely on the ground. Pushing a letter into Loki's chest and sitting him on a rock, he stared down into his emerald eyes. Neither of them could believe what had just happened.  
**"Loki ... "**


	3. Chapter 3

**"Loki ..."**

Both Loki and Thor had planned for this moment. Loki had thought about where to hit Thor, what to scream at him and what to say to him, while Thor had thought about what to say to Loki and how hard he'd hug him. Now that the moment was in front of them, all they could do was stare at each other, with Lki shaking his head in disbelief and Thor looking so lost and excited.

Just as Loki was about to stand back up and shove Thor, the man of iron was there knocking Thor off the tiny cliff they were on. Loki watched on as the man of iron started to battle with Thor. He watched until he realized he was still clutching a letter. Opening the letter and stared at the words, not reading them and not wanting to read them. The fear of what this letter could do to him burned in his mind. Loki didn't want to read how much Thor had hated him and he didn't want to read how he was disowned. Much to his disadvantage, Loki was curious and the urge to read had taken over.

* * *

Loki,

I have just finished reading your letter and I am at a loss of words. Have you ever had so much to say, but you didn't know where to start? I'm sure you haven't, words were always your weapon so it's only natural that you have never had this trouble. Ah, I am doing what you called "rambling", correct? I'm hoping that I will eventually ramble my way to a point. Do I even have a point? I guess this letter is showing you how much I need you. This is no metaphor I can think of that explains what you mean to me. Without you it's chaotic, everything is a mess and I cannot seem to think straight.

I don't know what I have done to make you feel like an outcast, or that I looked at you as being beneath me. It pains me to know that you think that when I have tried to prove otherwise. I wish you weren't so blinded by what you think you are, it has affected what you truly are. Does this make sense, Loki? Please bear with me if it doesn't. I have thousands of thoughts going through my head and so many things I wish to tell you; to set straight with you, and I still don't know where to start.

I miss you so much, brother, and no matter how you think father views you, please know that you were always number one to me and I would go through years of pain if it meant that it would bring you back. Nothing you can do will change the fact that you are my brother and I love you with everything that I am. Please be okay, Loki, please.

Thor.

* * *

Loki sat with tears flowing down his cheeks, reading the last few lines of Thor's letter over and over again, making sure he wasn't dreaming. This can't be right, he must be imagining things because there was no way Thor didn't hate him ... that Thor didn't want him dead. Loki had destroyed the bifrost, had ruined his chances of seeing Jane again and Thor still loved him? No, this is wrong.

**"He is my brother and he is coming home with me!"  
**Loki glanced at the noise just in time to see Mjölnir smash into the man of iron's suit.  
"Do you have any idea what your brother has done?!"  
Loki smirked, both of them were so silly. While they were bickering, Loki could have escaped, he could still escape, but he had a plan. Oh, the plan. Loki frowned. Did he really want to go through this his plan now? Something had changed inside Loki, for some reason he didn't feel as cold as he had before. Staring at Thor made him feel something ... was it longing?

Although Loki was mad at his brother, he did love him. After his fall he had missed him dearly. No, he had to go through with his plan ... but what happens if he succeeded? Thor would be harmed, no doubt. Loki hugged the letter to his chest and began to think of possible ways he could make it seem like he was trying, but was sure to have a failed outcome. He grinned as he realized he could use the green monster the humans had. Things would get destroyed and he'd be free ... and then he could put the rest of his plan into action.

Loki would fail his mission and Thor would take him home. He didn't care what his father's punishment was, he'd be gone soon and Thor would rule and Loki knew that no matter what, Thor would always protect and love him. Loki wasn't as strong or as brave as Thor, he might not have been Thor's equal in anything, but Thor needed Loki and being needed, being wanted ... being loved was all Loki ever really wanted.


End file.
